Waiting Patiently...

I haven’t heard anything yet and I don’t want to be calling every single day regarding my information being submitted to the insurance. I spoke with the office on Wednesday and was told they are waiting on my medical history from my primary doctor. If all is received in a week or so, then they will submit to the insurance and if there are no setbacks, the surgery can be as early as the end of February!
I feel like everything was happening so fast that it was so easy for me to see me already losing weight, that now that the process has died down a bit due to the paperwork, I start worrying if maybe the insurance won’t accept my claim, what if I just can’t get my surgery? I don’t want to lose the momentum, but I feel like I am setting myself up again for failure. I have been slacking with the eating and exercising. I know I am only cheating myself by not starting something myself. My husband was trying to get me to do the Wii fit yesterday, but I was still too full from dinner. I just don’t have the desire to work out, but I really just need to push myself and do it! I will be going grocery shopping tonight and I will make sure I buy my greens and fruit! I have to remember that I’m miserable this way and I need to change it. If not then I will continue to live miserable forever!

Fears

Ever since I started this journey it's been very hard to focus. I have had so many dreams of having the surgery and not lose weight. I think I have been dreaming this everyday for the last week. I think the biggest one is the fear of failure. I have been down this road before of being so ready and willing to take control of my weight and then come to the point where I just fail. I'm constantly researching everything I can possibly find out about the process, but there are still so many questions that are unanswered.

I have tried to chew my food 20 times...OMG can I tell you how hard that is? My jaw hurts so much from chewing. I'm doing it to make sure I get myself in the habit of what is to come. I can't seem to incorporate my fruits and vegetables. I wonder if maybe I can take a vitamin supplement? Will have to look into that. I then have been told of stories of people failing. Ugh, that is the last thing that I need to hear at this time, but then again are these people really trying? Or did they come into this thinking it was a quick fix and didn't have to work at it? Really wonder sometimes...

My story with weight issues.

I have been overweight practically my entire life. I can remember starting to diet when I was about 10 years old. All through Jr. High and High school I have been overweight. I remember trying numerous diets and I would lose, but then regain them right back. I just could not seem to keep the weight off.
I have tried a lot of diets in my life, from Phentermine, Slim Fast (several times in my life) Herbalife, Low carb, Low fat, Weight Watchers, Nutri-system, 6 week body makeover, Joining a gym, Dr. supervised diets and even though some have been successful, I have always gained the weight back plus some more. I have been doing a lot of research and I have been able to gather information on the options available out there to make a life changing decision. The Lap-band procedure is the one that I have been interested in since day one. I truly believe with the support and guidance it offers, it is definitely something that I can truly follow and it will work for me.
I am tired of being the size that I am and that my 2 beautiful children want a normal mom to do outdoor activities with, but I never have the energy. My excuse used to be that I was big, but I was healthy. I don’t know where I got that idea from, but just because I didn’t have any co-morbidity's, I thought I was ok! So even though I was not happy with myself and did what I could to lose the weight, when I would yo-yo, I would have an answer for me. At least I’m a healthy fatty! That is definitely no longer the case. I have been told by my primary Dr. that I have a bit of a fatty liver, borderline diabetic and my most recent discovery…sleep apnea. Both my parents have diabetes, so I am very prone to this disease. I am getting to the point where my health is in danger. My sleep study came after my husband complained I snored all night, all the time. My knees hurt, my heels hurt with any minimal walk. I constantly have back pain. My clothes leave marks around my waist.
My final straw in deciding and looking into the Lap-band procedure was a trip to an amusement park and trying to get on a ride where the seat belt did not fit. The attendant struggled to make it fit, but everyone in line was watching me. As soon as the ride started, I cried. I did not enjoy any part of that ride just thinking of the humiliation. After that, I refused to get on any other rides to avoid any further humiliation. I knew I needed to do something about my weight. I didn't know how I would be able to do it on my own, with so much weight I had to lose. Everywhere I go I’m so worried about me fitting in restaurant booths, chairs and even airplanes. I’m tired of walking sideways on isles and not being able to cross my legs.
I want to be able to live a longer life for myself, my children and my family. I can no longer live like this. I have never been this open in my life about my weight issues, but I believe this is the only way that I can obtain a new chance at living a healthier and better quality of life.

More tests!

I went to do my Echo Stress test today. I arrive once again to the center and was told my tech was running about 20 minutes behind. I was like okay?....and was asked if I wanted to come at a later time. So, I asked what time is later? Well she looked and said, "You know what, you are better off just waiting." Well 20 minutes didn't seem so bad for me so I waited.

So, yes right about 20 minutes later the tech comes out and introduces herself as Mina. She takes me in to the room where the treadmill is at and then tells me to undress from the waist up. Puts all the gizmos and gadgets on me for the heart monitors and gave me those fashionable shirts to wear and we proceeded with the test. She has me go on the treadmill at about 1.7 mph. I'm thinking, not bad. I'm very cool especially wearing my new Shape Ups shoes by Skechers, I'm thinking...I can do this. Then after 3 minutes she puts it up to 2.9 mph. Oh and just to add to it she puts it at a 12% incline. I'm now starting to feel it and 3 minutes later she moves it to 3.5 mph. Ok, I haven't worked out in months, so you can just imagine now I'm like hanging on to the treadmill with my dear life. So then at about the 7 minute mark I say ok, I'm exhausted. She then starts slowing down the treadmil and say you did so good, you actually reached your peak, you are the first one to actually do it for me. I didn't really know if I was supposed to be flattered or not since I'm sure it being an obesity clinic the majority of the patiens are not in the best shape of their lives. But it did kinda feel good even though it took me a while to catch my breath.

Once done with that I was speaking with my coordinator Sofia, who informed me that the surgery would be covered at 100%. I was absolutely jumping for joy!
Aside from the upper GI that I still need to do, this was all the test needed to send all my file to the insurance company for an approval. Once the approval is given then we can schedule my surgery date....this is all happening soooo fast!!!

1st consultation

I want to warn you before you continue...I'm so bad at writing. I have a really hard time putting my thoughts in paper, but I really want to document my journey to help me deal with the ups and downs I am sure to face. So cut me some slack on my writing skills...

I was so excited to finally arrive to my consultation today. I got there 30 minutes early, but then again we are going through some massive thunderstorms in Southern California, so I left early to make sure I had time to deal with traffic. As soon as I arrived to the Oband center in Tustin, I am greeted very courteously by the staff. I think the first thing I noticed was that the chairs at the facility were very big. I sat in one of them and realized that I for once was at a place where the chair I sat on were larger than me. Not that it made me feel any better, since I was obviously there because I have a weight issue. I think at the same time in some way, I felt ashamed for being there. How did I let myself go to this extent. But I was there taking the 1st step and at that point that is all that mattered...no turning back.

Heather then takes me to the back and begins with taking my blood pressure(which thankfully is good) and then proceeds to weigh me in at 257lbs. Yikes right! She then takes me to room 2 where I patiently wait for Dr Pham to come in and start the consultation.

Dr. Pham, my surgeon comes in and gives me the whole shabang. Pro's/Con's, complications during and after surgery and then he finishes by telling me and assuring me he has never had any issues with any patients with infection or bleeding due to this procedure. Answered my questions and then said, "You are a perfect candidate for this procedure and I am sure you will do well if you stick to it." He then sent his assistant to continue with the process.

Sofia comes in and she asks "Are we ready to go" and I give her the go ahead to start the process and sign all the forms. I then speak to the nutritionist who goes over with me yesterday's meals. Oh boy...so I have been trying to be good...ok sort of good. So I said ok for Breakfast I had Honey Nut Cheerios with fat free milk. Lunch was a sandwich with no mayo, ham, cheese, lettuce and cucumbers. Dinner I had albondigas(meatballs in soup) with potatoes. After dinner I had some avena (oatmeal) with bread...ugh not good. Ok he said, "Well your problem is you are eating too many starches and not enough fruits and vegetables". My goal is to incorporate fruits and vegetables servings into every meal. Hand size portions for an entire meal, so the size of my hand will be the entire portion of all the food groups I eat in each meal. Chew my food 20 times. I also have to walk 3 times a week for at least 15 minutes. I said, well I can definitely do that! Being positive here!

So next I go to the Psychologist. She then looks at my psych evaluation I had filled out online. She then talks to me of ways that I can avoid eating for the sole purpose of comforting emotions or boredom. Very short meeting, not much detail went into this one.

Then I took an EKG and it came out with borderline stress, so I have to return tomorrow to take a stress test and I will also need an upper GI since I have been diagnosed with gastritis in the past, not looking forward to this one.

Once I have all my test done and I get medical clearance it will all be sent to my insurance and it should be a matter of weeks. I was told I would not need a 6 month supervised diet and if all goes well surgery could be in about 2 months.

I'm so excited!

Bandster 4 Life

I was thinking of what I was going to name this blog and Bandster 4 life came to mind. I am preparing for a life long journey with the Lap-Band®. I am banding myself to re-gain my life and health once again.

I started this blog not knowing what the future holds or where it will end up in a few months or a year. I have been battling with my weight since I was 8 years old and I'm at a point in my life where I really need to get control of it. I have my first surgeon consultation tomorrow. I am really excited and looking forward to going through the surgery. I have so many questions, concerns and fears, but I have been reading it's all normal and part of this process. Wish me luck!